How to Get a Better Performance Review without Improving Your Performance

I learned this lesson as a new manager when reviewing the performance reviews I had prepared for my direct reports with my boss, the department Director. Although I had written the reviews, her final stamp of approval was required for them to be finalized. As I was going through the ratings I had given to my mostly average employees, one stood out. It was a person who had been in the department for several years. She was an outstanding performer — intelligent, efficient, professional, well-spoken, hard-working, always exceeding metrics. I had rated her as such — Outstanding. My boss on the other hand, was not in agreement with my rating. I asked why, and she simply said: “Suzy has been in my department for 3 years already, and not once has she asked me how I am doing. She starts every conversation by getting right down to business”.

This comment shocked me. It was opposite of everything I had been taught about managing your performance and career. My director’s evaluation of this employee had nothing to do with her performance, it was based on her lack of congeniality in her work conversations. I had been taught to have an “elevator speech” prepared in case you happened to get in the elevator at the same time as the company CEO, that you’d be able to impress them by saying something intelligent. You were never supposed to ask the big boss, “how are you doing?” or waste their time talking about the weather or other inane topics.

I thought about what my director said. She was not expecting Suzy to be schmoozy, a trait that I despised. All she was asking was that Suzy show a little interest in others in her interactions with them. I thought about my own communications with people; and realized that I too rarely asked how they were doing, or how their kids were, or whether they were feeling better after being out for a week with the flu. After that, I made a concerted effort to improve my interpersonal skills, and to start each communication with something that showed I had some interest in my coworkers and others.

Later in my career, when I had to spend a great deal of time meeting with various sales representatives, one stood out as an all-time favorite of everyone in my department. Each time we’d meet, he’d ask me about something that showed that he remembered who I was. He did that with everyone in the department — remembered their kid’s names, their husband’s/wife’s names, where they lived, what was new in their life, their health issues, etc. I finally asked him how he remembered all those things, and he told me that each time he left a client’s office, he took notes about them. Then, when he went back to call on that client, he’d check his notes to see how he would start out the conversation. It seemed a little seedy to me, but it worked for him, and I’m sure it influenced many of our sourcing decisions.

Developing personal connections with others in the workplace is difficult when so many of our communications are done via instant messaging, text and email. I often find myself starting out my instant messages with an immediate business question or a request. I then force myself to go back and rewrite it to add “Hi Suzy, how are you doing?”. Or “It’s been a long time since we’ve talked. How are you?”. I find I get better results by engaging the person this way than by getting right down to business! And, BTW, that Director I reported to later became our Senior Vice President.